You can’t imagine it, the singer says. At that moment readying for her comeback record in nearly a decade, deeply enamored with her current love, and at long last the mother of a toddler after struggling to conceive for ten years, on top of the world. Suddenly in spring she was found to have a breast cancer diagnosis.
The musician, actual name Jessica Cornish, is renowned for speaking her mind. The LP, the provocatively titled album, was supposed to be an open book, dealing with every moment of pain she’d experienced since she last recorded music (a gynecological condition, pregnancy loss, unsuccessful partnerships, psychological manipulation, suicidal thoughts) with her usual frankness. The first single, the song No Secrets, was dropped in the spring. But by then there remained a major undisclosed truth. The cancer. Later next release, Living My Best Life, came out in May and Cornish was speaking publicly about how she was enjoying life to the fullest, while still secretly coping with breast cancer. Four weeks after she went public, and in July she had a mastectomy.
She shoots me her best “What the fuck?” look. “I put out with a song called No Secrets. I’m giving every interview, and they inquire, ‘So what’s new with you?’ and I’m, like, ‘Erm, yeah, nothing …’” the singer has just had to cancel tour dates because she’s still waiting for cosmetic procedures.
We meet at a studio in the capital. She is dressed in a light brown synthetic jacket, jeans with detailed white appliqués, cream boots and oversized specs. Imagine motorcycle style meets 70s singer aesthetic. “As if I’m in the 70s and I should have a partner with a mustache.” Like the film, I say, recalling the picture. “That’s what people called me at school!” She grins. Cornish is fast-thinking, irreverent and blunt. She says she has always fancied doing comedy and is hoping to make her standup debut in the coming year. “I love making people laugh. When performing I often tease the fans.”
Health Struggles and Diagnosis
Cornish was preparing for an slot at the awards show when she discovered a mass. “I quickly sought to get it looked at, had an ultrasound, and they told me, ‘It appears fine; your tissue is healthy.’ And I insisted, ‘However, it’s there. I have arm pain and numbness in my fingers whenever I wake up.’ And they suggested, ‘How about a biopsy?’ It happened on March 28, the following my birthday.” It was a weekend eve. The doctor told her if it was serious she’d call on the start of the week. By then she had assured herself it was fine. The way she explains it, it was just bad timing to face illness when she had so much on.
“Just two weeks before from debuting the project after eight years without an album and an extended break. And the doctor messaged and said, ‘Is six okay?’ And I was, like, ‘Oh, it’s a Zoom, it won’t be anything.’ So I join the call thinking it’s all going to be fine, and she says, ‘You might want to sit.’ That sympathetic voice? And she says, ‘I’m so, so sorry but your test results have indicated malignant cells.’” What was your reaction? “I answered, ‘Well, that’s not great. That’s not fucking great timing.’ My initial thought was, ‘I have to survive for my boy.’”
Some men find me challenging due to my self-awareness
She considered the operation frightening and surreal. “I fear going under. They walk you down. You know when you have emergency surgery you roll down in a bed, but this time I just walked with a hospital gown and my backside out. Like a dystopian scene.” But, she notes, she’s been fortunate. Without chemo or radio, just the surgery. “It’s terrible, but however Thank fuck I found it early. The surgery happened a few months back and my one side now appears as a odd shape.” She smiles again. “I got to keep the nipple, though.”
The subsequent surgery is for health and appearance. Her breasts, she notes, are now “different sizes. They didn’t do an implant as small as my original. How rude! I reflected, no need to bully me, I’m already having a hard period. Such disrespect! Ironically I said I’d never get my boobs done because I’ve got obsessive tendencies, and I know they’d never be flawless. Illness changed that.”
Previous Struggles
The singer is familiar with health problems. She thinks her outlook on her diagnosis has been so optimistic because she’s experienced in physical challenges. Many times they occur alongside professional successes, serving as a tap on the shoulder, or blow, to make her recall not to assume everything is fine. “Honestly, I feel life goes, ‘Enjoying yourself? Take a seat.’ Since childhood, it has often paired with achievements for me; something severe or obscure has affected my well-being.”
She reminisces to her childhood, already making her debut performing in the stage in the production (she was chosen at the age of nine). That’s when she was found to have the cardiac issue WPW, which can cause a fast heartbeat as well as dizziness and irregular beats. “I was going in and out of rehearsals on an intravenous line, and being readmitted at night.” She fast-forwards six years, and young Jessica has become part of the girl group Soul Deep while studying at the performing arts school. “I signed my initial contract, and I had a brain incident. Then when I was planning to release songs in recently I had a collision and my larynx moved up and I couldn’t sing for a year.”
Wow, I say, slow down, I can’t keep up. At just 17? She nods|agrees
